Escapist... No way!!!

Why should I think myself as an escapist! I should never think like that. I am not an escapist. Yes, in the first wish, I prefer to escape from any problem, but, in reality I never escape. I always try to take the problem (taking the problem is different from taking it as granted) and then I try to outperform or come out of the problem. I never keep my eye shut from the problem. I don't act as if the problem does not accept. I always remember that the problem exists, and while the problem exists, and I can't do anything about it, I have to get what I desire.

Man, it is absolutely right. I know that I am not trying my level best to get back my girlfriend, because the way suggested is against my principles. And I will never go against my principles. Moreover, I could easily escape the problem with my girlfriend by getting a new girlfriend. I had options. However, I always think that the way to tackle the problem with my girlfriend is not the right way. So, I still remember my girlfriend. I do not escape from her memory. I face it, face it bravely each day and night. Doesn't matter if I cry in the process of facing the bitter truth.

I also have lots of other things. I don't want to be with some people. However, I still go back to them because I know they love me, and if I go back to them, they will like it. I just go back to the same state because I want them to be happy, very happy. It's not because that I fear to fight against them, but, because it is not right to fight with them, with their desires.

After the thought about being an escapist, I really was frustrated. However, after I defended myself against being an escapist, I feel so good. I feel more charged up.

See, I fought with the idea of me being an escapist, and did not escape!!! That's the proof!!!

Escapism in Life

In my last post, I wrote about being a person with low aspiration level. However, that night I talked with one of my friend. And I understood that not only that I have lower aspiration level, but, at the same time, I am an Escapist too. I escape from every problem I face. Hardly ever, I actually try to solve my problems. Generally, I take the problems as granted, and I adjust my life accordingly.

Take for example, when I am going through a slump in my career, I am just comparing myself with others who are in worst scenario compared to me. And I take the dip in my career as granted, and I keep on enjoying my life. I allow everyone else to play with me, since I feel afraid to stop them. I take it as granted, and I thank fate that at least I am not being treated more badly. Whenever someone does something wrong, I get angry. However, seldom I ask him to stop it. I escape from the situation, and reason myself as being very peace-loving.

So, finally I am an escapist. And being escapist, I have the freedom that I take this fact for granted. So, I'm not going to change myself!!! Life, let it be as it is!!!

Aspiration and Life

In life it is not always the case that things will happen as the way you wish it to happen. Whatever you expected, things may turn completely otherwise. However, most of us feel frustrated, depressed though we know the things, we know that something different happens. 


Aspiration level. My friends tell me that my aspiration level is very low, and as a result I don't feel the frustration, the depression. I don't know it might be like that. Yes, I agree that my aspiration level is low, I get satisfied with what I get, I get contented too soon. However, I think that the price I am paying to get happiness is very less. The things that I am letting go by my low aspiration level are not really worth it.Someone told me that I am good for those who compete with me, but, I'm not good for them who are with me. This is because I let them down by my low aspiration level. Perhaps it is right.  Yes, I let my own people down by my low aspiration level. I fight against my own people when I find that they are doing wrong, however I agree to things when they are done wrong by the opponents. Why? Perhaps I expect that my OWN people would follow the fair ways in life, and I do not expect the same from everyone else.

Someone told me that I cannot keep anyone happy. I think it is because of the low aspiration level that I cannot take my OWN people to the higher level, to the better level where my competitors can lead their OWN people. I also feel it. Every time I want to make someone happy, I always fail very badly in it. The results are never in the same direction. In fact they work in opposites directions.  

So, all the problem boils down to some phenomenon known as ASPIRATION LEVEL!!! Oh my God!!! However, since my aspiration level is quite low, hence I don't mind the situation, and will not change myself. After all, I love myself as I am.

Old Love

Why the hell do I miss her so much!!! At this time, when my exams are nearly over, and I am planning to enjoy my time before I start studying for the last paper, why do I cry?? Why do I still dream that my girlfriend is remembering me!!! Why do I waste my tears on her??? Why do I dedicate songs to her??? WHY???WHY???WHY???

Today morning I was searching her on google, as I do regularly. Suddenly, I found her sister, and I again tried to get as much info about her as possible. I don't know, what I am actually trying to do, what I actually want. But, I know that I will try to send her friend request, connect to her, and try to get as much information as possible from her about her sister.

Love is not in the air, however, I keep on searching it everywhere. Tears are not automatically set, however, I occasionally see my cheeks to be wet!!! I love you still now, and I fear even now. So, HARD LUCK!!!

Blogs!!!

Well, what is a blog? It is some sort of personal diary, some sort of space where  you can pen down or key down your own ideas, your feelings. How does it differ from the general paper diary? One basic difference in these two are that personal diary is generally kept personal, to be viewed by close friends only. On the other hand the blog is a open book, left to be checked globally.

The advantage of a blog is that it is anonymous, and you can get others opinion without letting them know who the person(author)is!!! And you can actually discuss what you really feel, actually you can show your frustrations, anger, and drain out them...

For others, it is a global platform to get appreciations globally for your nice creations, artistic abilities, literary pieces, ideas.

Whatever it is, I really love the concept, and I keep on scribbling on my useless blog, just to be read by me!!!

Girlfriend and Girlfriend's Marriage

One of my close friend called me some days back, and he told me a news. It was that, his Girl friend is being married in a few days. It is an arranged marriage, and the boy is doing some job in Hyderabad, and will be flying to America in a few days. So, the girl's parents had a fat catch. And my friend had a slip!!!


Similar stories are coming to me for the past few days. Girls in India (better say, Rural India) are in the marriageable age by 21 or 22. So, when we the guys are 22 still fighting for some job, and trying to get settled in life, our girlfriends (who generally happen to be our classmates at some point of time) are getting settled permanently with their husbands.


I was thinking about the problem, and that you need to be excessively strong to fight against your parents if you want to get your partner. And this strength has to be shown by the girl more intensely, since they get to the marriageable age earlier. So, the girl gets to the marriageable age, talks to their parents, argues with them, and finally convince them that she has a good catch, and then makes them wait till her partner is settled with a job.


The boy's side story is a bit easier. No one talks about their marriage till he gets a job, and so he has the freedom to stop till that. And once he has the job, he generally enjoys a freedom to choose. However, the whole of the arguments, and the discussion is based on the fact that the boy has to have a good career ahead quickly, and their love is strong enough to wait.

I really feel bad for my friend, however there is not much to be done.
Pyar kiya to nibhana, pyar kiya to nibhana!!!