Dreams: Invincible?

Last time, in my blog (The Invincible Dream), I wrote that I was waiting for a miracle — some quiet twist of fate, some stray coincidence that would breathe life back into a long-held dream. No, it didn’t happen. The miracle I kept hoping for — it came close enough to touch, perhaps, but still slipped through my fingers. So yes, it happened. And yet, somehow... it didn’t.

After nearly five years — four years and nine months, to be exact — I spoke to her again. And it felt warm, familiar, like opening a window in a room I thought was sealed shut. But if you recall, I had once asked: Is being in a relationship the same as being engaged? Back then, I wasn’t sure. Now, I know the answer. Or at least, I think I do. No, they’re not the same. Not at all. And yet, in some cruel twist, maybe they are — when both end in silence.

Back in those late 2000s, we let each other go. Not because we stopped loving, but because life had placed us in parallel lanes, tethered to others, unable to cross paths without burning bridges. We were afraid then — afraid of hurting each other, afraid of breaking something delicate. So we drifted, each holding on to the hope that the other would be happy, even if it meant from afar. I’m not sure if that hope made sense. Maybe it never did.

This time — in late 2010s — it was different. The fear had shifted. It wasn’t about us anymore. We weren’t afraid of wounding each other. We were afraid of hurting those around us. She was engaged. The weight of expectations, the noise of relatives, the quiet tears of her parents — all of it pulled her back. She was trapped in a web that wasn’t entirely hers, and walking away wasn’t as easy as we might wish it to be. I don’t blame her. I never could.

And yet, again, we let go.

I held on to hope until the very end. There were signs, strange alignments — a breakup, an accidental message, the way things unfolded with uncanny timing. I told myself: Maybe this is how miracles begin — not loudly, but in small, strange echoes. I waited. I believed. But nothing came. No miracle. No coincidence. Just silence — deep, familiar silence.

And now, what about the dreams? They should’ve left by now, shouldn’t they? Faded quietly into the background like forgotten songs.
But they haven’t.

They still linger.
They still haunt.
They still whisper to me when the nights are too long and the world is too quiet.

Eighteen years

Eighteen years is when you end childhood

Childhood is painted in bright colors - yellow and oranges

And the ends are too often dark and painful

However, the soft colors of the fall - orange and yellow

They remind us of the beautiful endings

And the love never ends; it matures

It matures to love, I would say

Eighteen years is when you attain adulthood

The time when you will be the guide to your own destiny

The time when you are challenged to find your own path

Love will find a way, they say

And love creates its own way of flowing

Adulthood is the time when you understand 

And appreciate the alternative meaning of love

Eighteen years is when you become responsible

Responsible enough to know what is right and wrong

Responsible enough to control your emotions

Responsible enough to be able to hide your feelings

But, a few irresponsibilities with the eighteen years old

Sounds like precisely that freedom that we have been searching for 

Eighteen years is when you become mature

Maturity is when you accept your mistakes

Maturity is when you stop blaming others

Maturity is when you learn to unlearn things 

Maturity is bouncing back from mistakes and misfortunes

With confidence and optimism

To make things work even in the face of adversity

Eighteen years is when you attain freedom

I dream of freedom as a bird

If we had wings, we would fly away far past infinity

Into the place that we call ours

Where there would be no crowd, shouts or screams

Where we would find solace

The same comfort we found in each other's hugs

Eighteen years

I could write paragraphs on each year of these eighteen years

On each moment of these eighteen years

Of the waves of laughter and the tears 

But, these are just eighteen years

And there are so many more to go

Together.

The Invincible Dream

I have a new type of feeling... Not exactly a new feeling, but I'm experiencing that after a long long time. And I'm in the same crossroad as I was a nearly a decade ago. The question was same, the characters were same, the situation was almost similar. Well, I say the word almost, because certainly there's a difference between being in a relationship and being engaged.

How much difference does it make in the bigger sense of things? Do I still regret my action last time? I'm not sure. I always believe that had life given us second chance, we would have lived life exactly the same way we are living now, because we always take the best decision based upon the available information. I know that now, because I'm taking absolutely the same decision I took at that time. Why I took that decision - because I was afraid. I was afraid that I might not be able to make her happy, and when I think about that again - I think the fear has been enhanced.

But, I dream that someday some miracle may take place, or some coincidence.
Please don't ask me to leave that dream. It's the dream that keeps me moving.
It's the invincible dream!!!

Tomake Bujhi Na Priyo from Projapoti Biskut (2017) - Lyrics

A beautiful song from a movie called Projapoti Biskut...
The link of the song is as follows:

Female version by Chandrani Banerjee --> Link
Male version by Prasen Mukherjee --> Link

This is not my translation. The translations have been done by Ritam Sen, the original lyricist.
His Youtube link --> https://www.youtube.com/user/ritam91

--------------------------------------------- তোমাকে বুঝিনা প্রিয় , বোঝো না তুমি আমায়
দূরত্ব বাড়ে, যোগাযোগ নিভে যায়।

Tomake Bujhina Priyo, Bojho na tumi aamay
Durotwo bare, Jogajog nibhe jaye

I do not comprehend you my love

You do not comprehend me.

Distance grows, correspondences cease.

গরাদ শোঁকে, সূর্যমুখী

খয়েরি কুঁড়ির ফুল, সূর্য খুঁজে বেড়ায়


Gorad shoke, Surjomukhi
Khoyeri Knuri-r ful, surjo khuje beraye

As a sunflower inhales the bars behind which,

Her brown bud blooms in the longing for the Sun.

তোমাকে জানিনা প্রিয়, জানোনা তুমি আমায়

শীতের বেড়াল খেলে ঘাসের ছায়ায়

Tomake janina priyo, jano na tumi aamay
Sheet-er beral khele ghasher chhaya-e

I do not know you my love,

You do not know me.

And winter like a cat emerges in the shadows of the green.

দুচোখে তার পান্নাবাহার

কান্না জমায়, কথায় কথায়।

Du-chokhe tar panna bahar

Kanna jomay, kothay kothay

Her eyes glow like emeralds

Made from frozen teardrops, brought by these cold words.

তোমাকে ডাকিনা প্রিয়, ডাকোনা তুমি আমায়

জলপ্রপাত মাতে রুপোর মায়ায়

Tomake dakina priyo, dako na tumi aamay

Jolpropat mate rupor maya-e

I do not call for you my love, you do not call for me

While the waterfall dazzles in its own silvery glee

তুলনাহীনা, জলের কিনার

তোমার চুলের মত আনমনে আঙুল ডোবায়।

Tulona-hina, joler kinar

Tomar chuler moto aanmone aangul dobaye

My metaphors fail to touch you, though this water

Flowing through my fingertips, reminds me the touch of your hair.

Happiness vs Sorrow

Do you know what is happiness, and what's sadness? Can you really define these easily? Or have you ever noticed the tinge of tears in your laughter, or the vice-versa - the happiness while you are crying? How about sharing all your wounds and pains with someone? Do you feel better? How about not having that someone in your life ever - because you are always acting too strong to make a mistake, because people look towards you as the epitome of strength, as the epitome of righteousness!

I have always been someone who can give good advice to people, not only good but also the correct advice to people. And, I also know what I should do in my life. Just that, I could never gather enough courage on that. And, somehow during some moments of madness, I did that... and it feels good.

They say that you can love only once in your life, and that's true.The thirteen years that have passed, yes we could have celebrated our thirteenth anniversary this year had things gone in the right way, yet I still have that similar connection to her even after these thirteen years. We are not in touch anymore, we haven't spoken over three years now, and it does not matter. All that matters is that I can think of her freely, without having any guilt conscious, and that's happiness.

I feel jealous of people who has a school time love story to share, who have a school time love story's success story to share - you know why? Because, I too have a school time love story, and it was much more awesome than anyone else's. Yet, I could share it none of my friends or colleagues. And, that's sadness.

Well, enough of meaningless talks. I know these make sense, just that again I am not able to open my heart out here. I do have my diary for that though. And, may be someday I will share the stories here as well. You will have a lot of stuff to judge me against, but, who cares! At last I have the freedom to dream about my loved ones.

Lyrics: Jaana zindagi se na jana

This is a song from the first album of Abhijeet Sawant.
Here is the youtube link of the song, I don't think there's any official video for this song.


Jaana, zindagi se na jana
Pyar ka yeh khazana
Loot na jaye kahin;

Beloved, don't go away from my life

The wealth of the love

Should not  be lost;

Jaana, hum rahenge tumhare
Hain jab tak sitare
Hain jab tak sangeet;

Beloved, I will always be yours

Till there are stars

and till there's music;

Duniya saari dekar lelu main ek tera pyar
Saathi ho jo tere jaisa kya kehna sansaar;

Jameen hain kya, jo tu kahe
Main chand pe tere saath chaloon;

I can leave the whole world just to get your love

For a friend like you, let the world say anything, who cares

What for the earth, if you say

I can come to the moon with you

Mere jeevan mein hain tere geeton ke jhankaar
Tere sang main angaaron par chalne ko taiyaar;

Tum dur ho to hazaar gham
Tum paas ho to mujhe har khushi;

My life is full of music and lyrics from your songs

I am ready to walk with you even on burning coals

When you are away, there're thousands pain

But, when you're with me, then I am ecstatic;

Jaana, zindagi se na jana
Pyar ka yeh khazana
Loot na jaye kahin;

Jaana, hum rahenge tumhare
Hain jab tak sitare
Hain jab tak sangeet;

Tum Bin: Chhoti Chhoti Raatein lyrics

This is a very beautiful song from the movie Tum Bin.

The official video can be found here, however, here the video and audio does not really sync well. As an alternative, you can see the well-synced video here.

I am just translating the lyrics for non-Hindi listeners. I just tried to do a word-by-word translation, and much of the essence of the original song may have lost in translation. Apologies for my short-comings in that.

Chhoti chhoti raatein lambi ho jaati hain
Chhoti chhoti raatein lambi ho jaati hain
Baithe bithaaye yunhi neende kho jaati hain
Dil mein bechaini aankhon mein intezaar hota hai
Jab kisi ko kisi se pyaar hota hai
Jab kisi ko kisi se pyaar hota hai

Smaller nights don’t seem to pass by so soon, they become longer,

As I sit and pass my time, I just lose my regular sleep,

In the heart there is an anxiety; an expectation and wait in the eyes,

When we fall in love with someone;

When we fall in love with someone

Deewanon si haalat hai apni
Pucho na kya chaahat hai apni
Thaamli maine teri yeh baahen
In baahon mein jannat hai apni
Phool sa khilke mehka hai yeh dil
Phir tujhe chhuke mehka hai yeh dil
Dil ka kya hai yeh to harpal bekaraar hota hai
Jab kisi ko kisi se pyaar hota hai

I feel like a crazy,

Don’t ask me what I want in my life,

I have stopped your hands,

And in those hands lies my heaven.

My heart has a glee like a flower,

And as I touch you, I feel the same elation,

And the heart is restless always,

When we fall in love with someone;

When we fall in love with someone

Panchhi banke ud jaate dil
Milte hain jab sapno ki manzil
Sapne to phir sapne hote hain
Sach hai yeh kab apne hote hain
Jaag kiya phir dekha kab sapna
Jab koi dil ko lage koi apna
Na dil pe kaabo na khud pe ikhtiyaar hoyta hai
Jab kisi ko kisi se pyaar hota hai
Jab kisi ko kisi se pyaar hota hai
Chhoti chhoti raatein lambi ho jaati hain
Baithe bithaaye yunhi neende kho jaati hain
Dil mein bechaini aankhon mein intezaar hota hai
Jab kisi ko kisi se pyaar hota hai
Jab kisi ko kisi se pyaar hota hai

The heart becomes a bird and flies away,

When it gets achieves its dream destination,

However, dreams are dreams,

And rarely they turn into reality.

Still, we stay awake and dream; and keep on day-dreaming,

When we find someone close to our heart and soul,

We lose our control over our heart; we become powerless,

When we fall in love with someone;

When we fall in love with someone

বন্ধুত্ব ও ভালবাসা (Friendship and Love)

বন্ধুত্ব ও ভালবাসা

বন্ধুত্ব ও ভালোবাসায় অনেক তফাৎ আছে, কিন্তু ঝট্‌ করিয়া সে তফাৎ ধরা যায় না। বন্ধুত্ব আটপৌরে, ভালোবাসা পোশাকী। বন্ধুত্বের আটপৌরে কাপড়ের দুই-এক জায়গায় ছেঁড়া থাকিলেও চলে, ঈষৎ ময়লা হইলেও হানি নাই, হাঁটুর নীচে না পৌঁছিলেও পরিতে বারণ নাই। গায়ে দিয়া আরাম পাইলেই হইল। কিন্তু ভালোবাসার পোশাক একটু ছেঁড়া থাকিবে না, ময়লা হইবে না, পরিপাটি হইবে। বন্ধুত্ব নাড়াচাড়া টানাছেঁড়া তোলাপাড়া সয়, কিন্তু ভালোবাসা তাহা সয় না। আমাদের ভালোবাসার পাত্র হীন প্রমোদে লিপ্ত হইলে আমাদের প্রাণে বাজে, কিন্তু বন্ধুর সম্বন্ধে তাহা খাটে না; এমন-কি, আমরা যখন বিলাসপ্রমোদে মত্ত হইয়াছি তখন আমরা চাই যে, আমাদের বন্ধুও তাহাতে যোগ দিক! প্রেমের পাত্র আমাদের সৌন্দর্যের আদর্শ হইয়া থাক্‌ এই আমাদের ইচ্ছা— আর, বন্ধু আমাদেরই মত দোষে গুণে জড়িত মর্ত্যের মানুষ হইয়া থাক্‌ এই আমাদের আবশ্যক। আমাদের ডান হাতে বাম হাতে বন্ধুত্ব। আমরা বন্ধুর নিকট হইতে মমতা চাই, সমবেদনা চাই, সাহায্য চাই ও সেই জন্যই বন্ধুকে চাই। কিন্তু ভালোবাসার স্থলে আমরা সর্বপ্রথমে ভালোবাসার পাত্রকেই চাই ও তাহাকে সর্বতোভাবে পাইতে চাই বলিয়াই তাহার নিকট হইতে মমতা চাই, সমবেদনা চাই, সঙ্গ চাই। কিছুই না পাই যদি, তবুও তাহাকে ভালোবাসি। ভালোবাসায় তাহাকেই আমি চাই, বন্ধুত্বে তাহার কিয়দংশ চাই। বন্ধুত্ব বলি তে তিনটি পদার্থ বুঝায়। দুই জন ব্যক্তি ও একটি জগৎ। অর্থাৎ দুই জনে সহযোগী হইয়া জগতের কাজ সম্পন্ন করা। আর, প্রেম বলিলে দুই জন ব্যক্তি মাত্র বুঝায়, আর জগৎ নাই। দুই জনেই দুই জনের জগৎ। অতএব বন্ধুত্ব অর্থে দুই এবং তিন, প্রেম অর্থে এক এবং দুই। অনেকে বলিয়া থাকেন বন্ধুত্ব ক্রমশ পরিবর্তিত হইয়া ভালোবাসায় উপনীত হইতে পারে, কিন্তু ভালোবাসা নামিয়া অবশেষে বন্ধুত্বে আসিয়া ঠেকিতে পারে না। একবার যাহাকে ভালোবাসিয়াছি, হয় তাহাকে ভালোবাসিব নয় ভালোবাসিব না; কিন্তু একবার যাহার সঙ্গে বন্ধুত্ব হইয়াছে, ক্রমে তাহার সঙ্গে ভালোবাসার সম্পর্ক স্থাপিত হইতে আটক নাই। অর্থাৎ বন্ধুত্বের উঠিবার নামিবার স্থান আছে। কারণ, সে সমস্ত স্থান আটক করিয়া থাকে না। কিন্তু ভালোবাসার উন্নতি অবনতির স্থান নাই। যখন সে থাকে তখন সে সমস্ত স্থান জুড়িয়া থাকে, নয় সে থাকে না। যখন সে দেখে তাহার অধিকার হ্রাস হইয়া আসিতেছে তখন সে বন্ধুত্বের ক্ষুদ্র স্থানটুকু অধিকার করিয়া থাকিতে চায় না। যে রাজা ছিল সে ফকির হইতে রাজি আছে, কিন্তু করদ জায়গীরদার হইয়া থাকিবে কিরূপে? হয় রাজত্ব নয় ফকিরী, ইহার মধ্যে তাহার দাঁড়াইবার স্থান নাই। ইহা ছাড়া আর একটা কথা আছে— প্রেম মন্দির ও বন্ধুত্ব বাসস্থান। মন্দির হইতে যখন দেবতা চলিয়া যায় তখন সে আর বাসস্থানের কাজে লাগিতে পারে না, কিন্তু বাসস্থানে দেবতা প্রতিষ্ঠা করা যায়।

--- রবীন্দ্রনাথ ঠাকুর 

Are you with the right partner?

Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love. People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened to you.

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfilment. Extramarital fulfilment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this) the key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the Person you found.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.

Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable. 

Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.

Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO!

PS: Not my original article, copyright and credit goes to http://anne.ph/

Break-up... Need not break you

I was sure that absolutely no one in the world had ever, or would ever experience the pain that I was feeling after my break up. Funny, but I found a virtual world full of folks who had gone through the same thing and felt the same as I had felt. That helped a lot.

So, for all the newbies who ask the question: will the hurting ever stop, or will my ex come back? This is how it typically goes down. We two break up; no matter who does it. We immediately panic and
begin chasing, begging, pleading, harassing, phoning, e-mailing, and stalking (OK, not all of these, just pick which one you did). Most of us likely do something during this stage that will make us cringe when we think back on it, say after 3 months.

We lose weight. We neglect ourselves, our house, our job (how many hours do we all log into these sites while we are at work?). We drive our family and friend crazy talking about the break up. We cry at the drop of a dime. We can’t even comprehend that our life might not again include that special person. We begin putting them on a pedestal, forgetting all of the nagging things about them that used to drive us crazy. In our mind they have become omnipotent, all encompassing, all everything.

We convince ourselves that we are losers who just screwed up a relationship with the best person in the world. We KNOW without a doubt that we will never love like that ever. We know that no one else will come along. We wear a sad face for the world to see.

They (the ex’s) remain steadfast in their denial to get back together. Many of them will leapfrog into new relationships, immediately being exclusive with a new person. For those who leapfrog, they appear to just replace us with a new model. All the things we two used to do, they now do with someone else. Bowling, cuddling, watching televisions whatever you two did, likely they will just begin doing those things with someone new. 

We hear about them and their new life. We are desperate about any crumbs of news about their life. Many of us make things worse here by trying to use manipulation to get them back; yet they stay away from us like we are the plague.

For those of us who do still have contact with their ex’s, we begin selling ourselves short. We do stupid things like allowing them access to our bodies and then wanting to strangle them afterward when they remind us that Sex does not imply hope. We, in further panic mode, begin frantically searching over the internet using phrases such as BREAK UP, LOST LOVE, or whatever. We stumble upon this site, pay our money because we are curious and lo! Behold, you find all of us folks in various stages of this break up bullshit.

We voraciously read the posts. We search for news of those who got their mates back. We are on this site constantly. We will read the books and sigh if I can do this, I can get the person back. We begin our NO CONTACT and for some of us, this will get a reaction from our ex’s. For the rest, no contact is and will continue to be what we’ll get and receive.

Time goes by. You’ll do some stupid things. You will call your ex when you should not. You will call when you have too much to drink. You will call even if 50 people on this site tell you not to do so. You’ll show up on their doorstep hating yourself all the time.

Then you will get serious about your no contacts. It will hurt. But you will try to stick to it. Here’s the turning point for most. For those folks who have contact with their ex’s your no contact will either bring
them sniffing curiously around or they will be somewhere high-fiving with their friends thanking the God that you have not called.

Now is the tough time. Nothing but time works. Every day the ache in your heart grows a little less. It’s only nanobits that it dies down by. But every day it will get slowly better. You will have set-backs. You will run into your ex accidentally. You will run into mutual friends who tell you to do something about your ex that will bring you home for a good cry. You will see your ex with their new friend. You will receive a phone call or an email from your ex who does not want to be in a relationship but just wants to be a friend (with benefits if you allow).

Here is another important part. You need to truly sit down and truthfully look back at the relationship and understand what you did to help with its demise. If you miss this part, you have gone through all the
suffering for nothing, because you will be back here again. This post is here to teach you. To teach you how to be a better partner, a better person. Missing that lesson is detrimental to the whole process. It’s the reason that you are going through this. Don’t miss out the lesson.

Then one day you will smile because you didn’t immediately check your answering machine when you came in. And one day you will decide to clean your house. And one day you will go outside and admit to the world that you are a better person now.

And then you’ll decide to mix with people freely. You will be ready to be amongst people again. And many of you will have some new dates. Some of you will have reconciliations with your ex’s. Many of us won’t. But one day it won’t matter as much. This is because time will allow you to catch yourself going minutes and then hours without thinking of the ex. And we will be able to think of our life possibly without that person and not dissolve in a puddle of nothingness because of the thought.

 And for most of us, sadly, life will go on without that mate. That is the truth. Don’t want to dash the hopes but probably less than 3% of the people on the site get back with their mates. Sobering isn’t it? But as the site instructs, we must accept this before we can truly begin to heal or draw our ex back to us. For the lucky (or unlucky one’s depending on how much work it will take to keep a mate that has wandered back) who get back with their ex’s, many will find that the paradise they envisioned isn’t reality, and what they once thought to be gold has a certain tarnish to it now. But they stay and try to make it work because it’s comfortable or, if they are really lucky, it is meant to be.

But for most of us, life goes on. And one day we will find ourselves having a gut busting laugh over something totally stupid and we will think to ourselves that I am getting better. And finally, we will go on a date again with someone new and find that (a) if it was not good, at least I did it, or (b) it was so much better than with the ex I wonder why I waited so long to get back here. It does not always happen, but just a possibility. Thus we are on the road to recovery.

 I guess, what I am trying to convey here is, while each situation is unique, the characteristics of the most of our situations are same. Most of us will go through at least something that I have written here. So
when someone tells you on this site that time will help you to get through it, believe them. When they tell you trust me, it will get better and you will stop hurting eventually, believe them. And when they give you good advice that your head understands but your heart rejects, take a moment to think before you react.

Don’t beat yourself up if you do something that you wished you hadn’t (calling contacting etc.). Be kind to yourself. Be forgiving to yourself. And most of all remember that being happily single is an alternative.
Even if society is beating into your head that you must have a mate, take time to heal before going out there. There are plenty of good people to love, just don’t go out there broken, jaded about love. Accept reality. Experience the pain. Learn the lesson. Actively try to heal. Remember the person you were when
you first met you ex and get that person back.

And the universe will take care of the rest.

Anonymous Blog!!!

Sometimes, I regret telling about my blog to some close people. You know, I have made this blog with the sole aim to write some of my personal feelings, and I really did not want to be public with my blog. That was the reason, I never wrote my name on my blog, or I never let any of my friends know about my blog.

But, sometimes, the mistake happens within seconds, and you know that you cannot take back the words. And awww, your anonymity is gone. The only thing you are left to do is to regret.

Why did I choose anonymity in the first place? The main reason is that I wanted to shout things out of my heart. I wanted to tell those things which I cannot tell to anyone. I wanted to confess things that I could not tell my close friends even.

So, why did I fail to keep the anonymity? Some of my posts, I really wanted to share with my close friend. But, as soon as I shared, I knew that I have done a mistake. I knew that I will regret it in future. But, what's done could not be undone.

Kabir Suman

For all the bengali song lovers in the blogosphere, I just wanted to share that I came across the website of Kabir Suman : http://www.kabirsumanonline.com/. There are a number of new compositions, and some of them are brilliiant as usual.

I am sure, you won't like to waste your time here. Instead, click on the above link, and enjoy a whole new world.

Thanks!

The Rainy Season: II

Continued from my last post...

However, as I continue to grow up, and start studying in college, my feelings towards rain started changing. I eventually started loving the showers. Perhaps, the lack of Do's and Donot's during the shower made me like it. There was no one to stop me from doing anything, I could run in the rain, get wet, play football in the mud, or just stand by the window and feel it.

For the last few days, while it is raining heavily here, I really like it. I love the cold feeling, want to go to my roof top and bathe in the rain, though I restrained myself from doing so since I am suffering from cold already!!! Anyhow, as a person grows up, as the environment changes, as the situation changes, a person's likings also changes.

I don't know why I am posting it now. I found this blog in my draft. Probably it is there since last year. I always thought of improving it, but I never found words to make it better.

I just thought of sharing this unfinished/might-be-finished blog. Happy days people.

Two songs

Roadies final episodes have presented me with two really sweet and touchy songs. I wish to share those with you.

The first one is the Sawan Beeta Jaaye.

Here is the youtube link for the song. I had to search it all over the internet, till I found out the name of the artist – Nandini Srikar. This song is from her album Beete Pal. In case you want to hear the songs from the album, here is the link.

The second song is the Silsila.

Here is the youtube link for the song. I was guessing that it must have been Agnee’s performance, however, was not quite sure of it. Here are the lyrics of the song.

Jo Silsila Tha Tera Mera Woh Silsila Kahaan
Tha Khwab Ka Har Ik Sira Tere Khwab Se Judaa
Choote Bhi Agar Saahil Tere Saath Ka
Ya Bichdein Galiyaan
Yaadon Se Teri Paakar Phir Ek Haunsla
Choo Lenge Naya Koi Aasmaan
Phir Bhi Wahaan
Jo Silsila Tha Tera Mera Woh Silsila Kahaan

I hope every one of you will enjoy the songs. Have a nice time ahead! 

Mayabono biharini horini

This is the translation of another Rabindranath Tagore song. Well, I have just copied this translation from someother blog, and I will not steal the credit. So, here goes the link of the original blog.

The original bengali lyrics is in italics, while the translated lyrics is in blue.

You can listen to the original song from a very old bengali movie, Lukochuri (Hide & Seek).

It was yet again used in another recent movie Bedroom, however in a rock version. Even though I liked the old version, I will let you decide which one you liked more!

Maya bono biharini horini
Gohono sopono soncharini -
Keno tare dhoribare kori pon?
Okaron?

    Wondering doe of the enchanted forest
    Who roams withinin deepest (of my) dreams -
    Why do I want to capture her?
    Is there a reason?

Thak thak nijo mone dure te.
Ami shudhu banshuriro sure te -
Porosho koribo or prano-mon,
Okaron

    Let her be by herself afar.
    I'll only through the melody of my flute -
    Touch her life and soul,
    For no reason.

Chomokibe phagunero pobonePoshibe akash bani shrobone.
Chitto akul hobe anukhon,
Okaron

    (She) will startle in the spring wind
    Will surrender as the heavens speak.
    Will grow restless now and then,
    For no reason.

Dur hote ami tare saadhibo
Gopone biroho dore bandhibo
Bandhono bihono sei - je badhon,
Okaron

    I will yearn her from afar,
    I will secretly tie her with the rope of separation,
    The tie which is without a tie.
    For no reason.

Thanks for going through the post. I will be back soon with lots of other things!